Six Things I Didn’t Do Yesterday
Jan02

Six Things I Didn’t Do Yesterday

Olive and I were eating at Johnny Rockets in Bakersfield on New Year’s Day. She likes to sit at the bar, spin in her seat, and people watch. I do too. An absolutely gorgeous woman walks in with two small children, a boy and a girl. They sit a few seats down from us, meaning they like the bar scene also. My first order of business is to look for a ring. It’s the polite thing to do, right? No ring. Woohoo! The local news shows up with a...

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The Waiter That Saved Christmas
Dec25

The Waiter That Saved Christmas

I went to a small Mexican restaurant after Christmas shopping the other night. I had been there before but not for a few years. I showed up at 7:05, minutes after their happy hour menu ended. I wasn’t there for the beer, I wanted their Chile Verde Nachos, for half the price than the regular menu. Damn, and I barely missed it. The waiter walked over with a basket of chips, and salsa that was about to say, “Merry Christmas,” to my...

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‘I Want to Pee Like Daddy’
Sep12

‘I Want to Pee Like Daddy’

Two-year-olds aren’t made to be quiet, so when my daughter left the room and a few minutes of silence followed, it caused alarm. When I followed her, I found her atop the step stool with her hands on her cheeks, elbows on her knees with a pout. The most beautiful combination of words rolled out of her mouth like poetry: “I want to pee like daddy.” That was 10 years ago, when I was a 21-year-old boy with a daughter. I...

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My Journey to a Genesis
Aug09

My Journey to a Genesis

I don’t know where to begin. I guess it began with losing custody of my oldest daughter, Genesis. It’s hard to write about how shameful the experience was. It was wintertime, 2009. I lived off the Costco box of Top Ramen to avoid grocery store visits. If I absolutely needed groceries, I’d go at night – right before closing. I did this to avoid any encounters with people that didn’t know I didn’t have her any more, avoiding their...

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Work-Related Issues
May30

Work-Related Issues

There are a million things I’d rather do than having to use the restroom at work.  Let me be specific.  Pooping at work.  I hate it.  There is not enough privacy during this intimate moment so I try to hold it, fighting off the urge by singing the ABC’s in my head.  It never works, it just gets worse.  Shifting in my non-ergonomic work chair, taking deep breaths, trying anything to get my attention elsewhere, nothing is working.  In...

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