Yesterday morning I was given two tickets to a non-profit fundraising event called Casino Night from a friend. It’s held by the Bakersfield Association of Realtors and it benefits the Golden Empire Gleaners, an organization focused on feeding needy people of all ages throughout Kern County. I’ve attended this event a few times, and it’s one of the fun ones. Matter of fact, last year I volunteered to be a bartender to help another friend out and I had an absolute blast. Though I only asked for one ticket, my friend handed me two and says, “Bring a date.”
When I made it home last night, the magnitude of the day hit me and I was blanketed with the feeling that it was time to rest. I spent most of the day moving my things to my new place, which happens to look like I’m having an indoor garage sale at the moment, and all I wanted was to sink into cushions and pillows. The only energy I could muster together was using my thumbs to go through my Match.com mobile app, searching for someone that might go with me to this Casino Night. The problem is trying to find a “new” date online quickly. It takes time, building trust and a little luck. If I come out swinging, “Hey, I have this thing on Thursday. Do you want to go with me,” then I might as well have written, “Hi, I’m a creeper. Let’s go out.” Secondly, not everyone responds quickly so I could send a few emails out, then maybe someone responds with a yes after I’ve already said yes to someone else. That’s not cool either.
So I decided to create my own online dating experience because of the situation I’m in. No photos, no body type, no religion, no race, no nothing. You’re welcome to visit my last blog post, What I Want in a Woman, to get a better idea of what I’m looking for myself, but what I’m asking from you is this:
What Do You Want in a Man?
I want to know what you’re really looking for. Define man. Dream of him. Would he massage your feet or would he throw his boot at the TV? Does he wear a suit and tie to work, or are his hands callused and he smells like the Brawny guy? Is he overweight or does he put Channing Tatum to shame? Does he drink? Does he smoke? Does he live with his parents still? Does he own a plane or does he have tape on his car windows to hold them up? Does he have children? Does it matter? Does he want to get married and make babies? Does he like Breaking Bad? Is he sarcastic? Does he live at the gym? Does he have tattoos? Picture him and then describe this wonderful man. One hint, be real. Christian Grey? Yea right. I want to choose my date based on the content of her character, not any of the classifications online dating typically provides. If it’s necessary that you know that I’m agnostic, then this post is not for you. By the way, I’m not agnostic but I’m okay if you are.
So I’d like to use your submission for two reasons. The main reason is to find a date quickly for me, without having to deal with the faults online dating has. If I choose you, know that it is strictly based on this content of your character, and we’re going to have a great time, I promise. The second reason is that I would like to follow up with another blog post in the future; one that comes from your submissions, written in part, by you. Your contact information will stay with me, and any names or personal information of others will be changed to protect those identities, unless Edward Snowden decides to hack me, then we’re all screwed. The real reason is to give us guys a dying chance at what it is women really want. We like honey-do lists, we like to feel wanted and needed, and I think for the most part, we are helpers. But without any direction, we’re wild beasts gnawing and growling our way towards you with our knuckles dragging on the ground and scaring you off.
Lastly, this is not a contest, lottery or joke. This is me looking for a date; and a guy trying to help other guys understand what women want in a man. That is all.
Here are the Rules of Engagement:
- You must be over 21 years of age.
- You must be able to get to Bakersfield by Thursday, August 15th at 6pm.
- You must not be married or in a serious relationship with a man, woman or animal.
- Any dishonesty before the date will disqualify you and I’ll happily go solo.
- You must be comfortable with being yourself in new situations.
- You must submit your entry on or before Tuesday, August 13th for consideration.
- Submissions after August 13th will be considered for the next blog post anyway.
- The woman that is chosen will be emailed directly, and we’ll hammer the details out together.
- If the email is wrong, or there is no response from you in a reasonable amount of time, I will move onto the next.
- I don’t like lists that end in 10.
- That’s why I created an 11.
I look forward to hearing from you. If you happen to know someone that might want to do this, please share this with them. I have the FB, Twitter, etc links below. Use them.
Thank you for your time. Hi. My name is Jon Vaughn.