Let me start by saying I’m not a big fan of those blog titles with a predetermined number of ways or whys. It’s every other post I see in my News Feed, and now I’m contributing to the madness. I’m sorry but it has to happen. Actually, what happened was HuffPost asked me to come up with a couple of reasons why you should date a single dad. As I started writing some ideas down, I noticed that I have no clue what it’s like having a son. I have daughters; two of them. So here are your reasons, Roman numeral style, on why you should date a guy like me.
We have an excessive supply of hair accessories. You can choose from a variety of options including sparkles, flowers, bows, and bands. It is likely that I have one that matches the outfit you are wearing right now. No, seriously.
We hold hands quite often and we like it. We got used to it while walking across Target parking lots. Now it has become a conditioned response. If your hands are significantly larger than ours, we can do high-fives.
We accept the fact that we will always be late from now on. We may also start telling you everything is 30 minutes earlier than it actually is. If you catch on, we may start operating on Eastern Standard Time.
We’ve become a little more physical. Like holding hands, we’re more comfortable with physical touch. We get hugs, kisses, cuddles, and we get farted on. This happens quite often and we’re okay with all of it. Being you is the best thing you could be and we’ll make it easier for you to do that.
We understand the value of having a nice warm towel when exiting the shower. And we will wrap you up like a burrito and steal a kiss while your arms are stuck. We also have Crazy Melon Body Wash, seven bottles of conditioners, detanglers, straighteners, and blow dryers. It’s like walking into your very own salon.
We hate shopping. Our daughters will rather go with you and we are completely okay this. Here, take this money.
We’re already used to all the shoes. This is a war we gave up on long ago. We lost.
We’ve mastered the ability to put seat covers on without them falling in the toilet. If we end up growing old together and you’re unable to wipe properly, what’s one more ass to wipe, really? We’ve seen worse.
We’re absolutely amazing in bed. Actually, this has nothing to do with having a daughter. Just trying to help a brother out. But on a more serious note…
You’ll have the chance to positively influence the life of a little girl. And when she asks you to do her nails, or wants her hair done fancy, or wants to go with you instead of dad, then you’ll know you’re doing it right. Relax, and get ready to feel like a kid again.
Thank you for reading. If you want to go on a date, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please attach a selfie with you holding up today’s newspaper. If you’re not interested in dating, come find me on Facebook, Instagram, or Twitter and we can be friends first. And if you know of anyone that experiences child custody issues, point them to my app – www.GenesisCCM.com – a free child custody manager. – Jon Vaughn